You know them all.
They’re present at every karaoke night, in Anytown, USA, determined to embellish your quality of life with their idea of the superior karaoke experience. As a public service, to help you readily identify the various species of Genus Karaokus, we present this by-no-means exhaustive list, in all their glory, or lack thereof.
The Diva. Dressed for a cocktail party and dripping with costume jewelry, she sings well, smells great, looks fantastic, and is well and truly aware of all three.
Performs like: a Broadway understudy being given her first big chance. Will be drinking: room-temperature mineral water. Will ask the KJ: at least three times to adjust the reverb on her microphone because it’s “too dry”. Will leave when: the crowd fills less than half the room. Favorite song: “My Heart Will Go On” – Celine Dion.