Ten people you meet at karaoke

Crowd

You know them all.

They’re present at every karaoke night, in Anytown, USA, determined to embellish your quality of life with their idea of the superior karaoke experience. As a public service, to help you readily identify the various species of Genus Karaokus, we present this by-no-means exhaustive list, in all their glory, or lack thereof.

The Diva. Dressed for a cocktail party and dripping with costume jewelry, she sings well, smells great, looks fantastic, and is well and truly aware of all three.

Performs like: a Broadway understudy being given her first big chance. Will be drinking: room-temperature mineral water. Will ask the KJ: at least three times to adjust the reverb on her microphone because it’s “too dry”. Will leave when: the crowd fills less than half the room. Favorite song: “My Heart Will Go On” – Celine Dion.

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